Working with animals, I have discovered that people have a wide array of . . . unusual . . . beliefs when it comes to their pets. Mr. Stine is convinced that his cat Butters is the reincarnated spirit of his great aunt Helen, and provides the staff with new examples of such each time he comes into the office. Then there's Mrs. Hall, who thinks that anything ailing her Pug Mitzi can be cured using Vicks Vapo-rub. I suspect this is also how she medicates herself, if the time she cornered me at the grocery store is any indication - - I almost got high off the fumes!
There are also different schools of thought when it comes to training dogs and cats - - there are those people who believe that animals can be taught as many as thirty different words, and there are those who believe that tone of voice is the only thing that matters and the words themselves are irrelevant in conveying meaning to an animal.
I'm not sure whether I believe that or not when it comes to animals, but I will tell you this - - it's true when it comes to Carly Corinthos Jacks, forget about logic and use a soothing tone.
After several months of abatement in my Carly-hate, Michael's murder of Claudia appears to have brought back the shrieking harpy that I know and loathe. Whether she was idiotically covering-up a justifiable homicide, freaking out on Jax for keeping a secret that everyone else kept too, or blindly refusing to blame Jason for incidents that are blatantly his fault, Carly's logic-defying ways are back in full-force.
So on Wednesday, when Sonny pitched a hissy over her desire to protect his kids from a serial killer by taking them out of the country, I knew a spike in my blood pressure was coming. Fortunately, there's an Arbor Mist for that.
Jax: I thought we agreed that all 3 children would be safer away from this mess?
Carly: Sonny had some points. {Editor's Note: Those are horns dear, he's always had those under his greasy hair}
Jax: None that I heard.
Carly: Michael called Sonny because Michael doesn't want to go. {Raise your hand if you give a rat's ass what he wants}
Jax: Michael hasn't exactly been making the best decisions lately. {cough*understatement*cough} Although, I did hear him say that he wants Morgan to go to Australia with us.
Carly: Michael doesn't feel he's worth saving {that makes two of us} he wants his brother to go so he has a better life.
Jax: Do you want to let him make that sacrifice? {Jax, I don't want that kid making any decisions more complicated than paper or plastic}
Carly: Nooo, Jax . . .
Jax: Then we should insist that they both come to Australia with us. The one thing we can't do is stay here and wait for Franco's next move.
Carly: I don't want to have another fight with Sonny. {Much better to have another comatose child than to offend Sonny's delicate feelings}
Is it unhealthy to scream and throw things at characters on the television, because I'm there?
Fortunately, Jax realized the error of his ways and tried a different tactic. Forget logic, you just have to speak crazy's language - - the world as it revolves around Jason Morgan.
Jax: If Franco's idea is to hurt Jason, then one way to do it would be to force him to choose between Sam's life and the life of a child. And if we leave, it takes four potential victims off the table okay, that's you, Michael, Morgan, and Jocelyn, you're out of Franco's reach. Not only are you saving your children, you're taking some pressure off Jason as well.
It looks like we're going to Australia, well-played Jasper, well-played.
allows Sonny (a known criminal more famous than Miley Cyrus in Port Charles) to wait for Lucky at his desk. Lucky's desk, which has important and confidential police documents including Franco's arrest report with Officer Dante Falconeri's name on it (cue piano music
). Sonny, missing this crucial bit of information as his snooping is interrupted by Lucky, 
stop teasing me, show!
. Enter Nikolas convieniently to harass Steve about some proposed changes that he wants to make to the ER as chief of staff. Steve and Nik argue, with Nikolas being a pompous jerk and Steve calling him out for using hospital business to address his romantic issues with Liz. 
If the writers intend this to be a "triangle", why are they writing Nikolas so poorly? There's no suspense if it's clear who the "point" should choose - - both options need to be appealing for it to be a dramatically viable story.
Carly is purposely missing Jax's point that Jason brought this down upon himself and the rest of PC with his lifestyle choice. According to Carly, Jason is merely a helpless victim of Franco's obsession with him. I can sympathize, us viewers are merely helpless victims of Guza's obsession with the holy hitman as well.
I enjoy it when Sonny is less mob-y and more fatherly, the writers really need to play more scenes for him like that, especially with DZ because they have great chemistry.
. Damn, Jonathan Jackson is good, I 
Seriously? Only for the last six weeks since Guza remembered there was a character on the show called Lucky Spencer. Maxie breaks into Franco's loft, looking for the pictures he took of her. Priorities, Maxie, come on! Dante has the same idea, finding Maxie when he enters.
comes by 
. . . Guza is trying in earnest now to make my head explode. 