Port Charles Chuckles

Love Actually

After a grueling Monday at the office fielding calls from people whose dogs got into the holiday chocolates or whose cats ate the tinsel off the tree, I was actually looking forward to today's episode of General Hospital (it's not my imagination, things have been on a bit of an upswing recently, no?). 

Alas, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the show because ABC saw fit to interrupt my evening of escapism (such as it is) with the following special report:  **the world is a terrible place and people suck .  I hate to break it to them, but that is not news to me.

Speaking of things that don't suck however, the 3/4 of General Hospital that I did see were actually pretty good.  I mean, I have practically no complaints about today's show (besides the obvious - why can't they do this more often? head-scratcher).

Patrick and Robin celebrated their one year anniversary with a room at the MetroCourt, champagne (Robin's off her PPD meds now), and something noticeably absent since 2006 - - an actual love scene .  Note to Guza: Happy couples are not boring, at least not when the happy couple in question is Robin and Patrick, the viewing public needs a little more happy in our escapism **see above note regarding world suckage.  Bonus for the Quartermaine fans - - an Alan mention!!  Scrubs are all romantic and schmoopy (which tells be that all hell is about to break loose) and it was lovely,  as was darling muffin in her little pink hair bow. 

Also enjoyable - - Maxie forcing Lulu to try on dress after dress for her date with Dominic.  Lulu's take on love was a little less romantic, but I can't say as I disagree with her assessment particularly, she does seem to be doomed.  Maxie giving Dominic the third-degree was pretty funny too, as was his response .  Their apartment holiday decor is atrocious, btw.

Let's hear it for the Davis girls - - Molly and Kristina want Sam's help with the Mac and Alexis fix-up, Alexis wants Sam's help talking the kids out of their plan, and coincidentally everyone converges at the same time leading to an adorable point-counterpoint argument between Alexis and Molly/Kristina with Sam playing the part of Switzerland.  I predict a law degree in Molly's future.  More Davis family, pretty-please   

Jason comes clean to Johnny about Michael killing Claudia.  I missed the beginning, but I gather Franco sent Johnny a picture that led him to see red.  Johnny slugs Jason, Jason explains the whole Franco-thing.  Was there a single person in the audience who didn't giggle lecherously when Jason said "Franco won't reveal himself to anybody but me"?   The subtext is quickly becoming text here.  Johnny is pretty understanding about the whole Mikey the mini-sociopath reveal, and leaves Jason to handle   Franco himself.

Somehow, Sonny and Lisa end up having dinner together with her under the impression that he's the restaurant manager.  Olivia snorts red wine out her nose when she hears this.  Then, she behaves like a unhinged jealous lunatic.  I wish the writers would decide what they're going for here and write Olivia with a little more consistency This is becoming uncomfortably similar to the Logan/Lulu/Johnny crime against geometry known as a "triangle".  Sonny and Lisa discuss Puerto Rican spas, shiatsu massages, and "how comfortable with his sensitivity" Sonny is.  It's my turn to snort wine out my nose.  Johnny walks in just as Olivia douses Sonny with red wine.  I admit it - - I chuckled, Johnny rolled his eyes.

At Sam's apartment, she prepares for a night of romance with Jason in the hottub of sin.  Franco sneaks in sneakily .  I never tire of watching Sam get kidnapped, really, it never gets old.

In the Spirit of the Season . . . .

. . . . I'm going to try to look on the bright side.

Sure, I could mention the completely insane conversation that took place between Lisa and Patrick today.

Or I could wonder aloud why the word "Christmas" seems so often linked to the term "serial-killer" in the minds of the General Hospital writing staff. 

I could wonder why Bob Guza doesn't have the common decency to deal with his holiday hang-ups like the rest of us responsible adults do - - by drinking heavily    Why must he instead inflict his childhood-trauma on the innocent viewing public by killing off Georgie Jones, Cooper Barrett or poor Ronnie Whats-his-name, just days away from Christmas??

I could linger on this unfortunate, frequent, and violent holiday trend, but instead I have decided to focus on what was good about today's show - - -

***Cameron Webber and his kind heart

 

Even when he's not on-screen, he manages to make me smile - -  the child picked a Christmas tree with a huge bare-spot last year because he felt sorry for it.  Awwww.  If I could be assured of having a child as adorable as fictional Cameron Webber, I might actually consider pro-creating.  As it is, I worry I would get stuck with a Michael Corinthos-type, instead.

***Tracy & Monica arguing over whether or not the star on the tree was straight

No one does Christmas like the bickering Quartermaines! Bonus points to Monica for her behind-the-scenes maneuvering which are apparently responsible for both Rebecca's long overdue exit from town and Steven Webber's welcome arrival.

***Patrick & Robin arguing about which tree would create the perfect experience for Emma

They are too cute for words.

 

***Rebecca announcing that she is leaving town, finally!!!

Speaking of positives, did I mention that tommorrow is Chad Brannon Tuesday? 

screencaps courtesy of Lisa W.

Joe Pesci Narrowly Misses A Shout-Out

I had big plans for this weekend (which mainly included running around like a crazy person doing last-minute holiday shopping/errands), but alas, Mother Nature had other ideas.  I have spent the last two days unable to leave my house because we are completely snowed in.  Completely snowed in. 

On one hand, this vacation from the outside world gave me a chance to get caught-up on numerous household chores.  On the other hand, Uncle Chuck and Aunt Ginger will now be getting Dr. Scholl's gel inserts and Vanilla Mint Listerine respectively, as Christmas gifts this year.

In addition to re-organizing my pantry and clearing out my file cabinet to make room for the 2010 folders, I also had a chance to catch up on the last three days of General Hospital. 

I do not recommend this consecutive viewing to others.  I started out relatively cheerful on Wednesday - - Scrubs playing darts squeeee, the Davis clan making cookies while Diane talks about how Martha Stewart is single-handedly responsible for a rise in Prozac usage among working women , CarJax family decorating the tree - yay! 

By Friday, I was decidedly less cheerful.

As Friday's episode began with Franco arriving at his loft after having recently exhumed Claudia's body , I was all set to movie-recap using Joe Pesci's 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag as my recurring theme.  Am I the only one who was majorly relieved when Franco pulled a bracelet out of that burlap sack??  Honestly, I was truly concerned that it might actually be a severed head.  Franco leaves the bracelet as a calling card at the studio for Jason, and Joe Pesci misses a chance to re-capture fame.

At Jake's, Lucky and Rebecca are having a nice first date (unbeknownst to him) when she starts to tell him that Elizabeth isn't really the woman he thinks he knows.  In rush Liz and Nik at that very moment to interrupt the reveal (yet again).  Rebecca starts to mouth-off about the four musketeers, so Liz shuts her up by explaining how they got their start as a group by investigating Liz's rape years ago.  It was actually a nice mention of history and a use of vintage clips that the current regime doesn't typically bother with, but I can't help but feel it was meant to manipulate the audience into forgiving the sloppiness of this current "triangle" by reminding us of the good ole' days .  Rebecca seems touched by the story, Nikolas seems bored by it, and Lucky and Liz clearly still have that spark (and also, neither Rebecca Herbst or Jonathan Jackson have aged a day in the last decade, damn them!).

Jason and Sam find Claudia's empty grave and are muy-freaked.  They rush back to Casa Stone Cold where Spinelli has had no luck finding Franco with his dual search engines.  Sam floats the idea of involving Mac or Lucky in the investigation (ha! ), but Jason sends her and Spin to get a Christmas tree instead, so he can focus {insert sexual double-entendre here} on Franco himself.

Sonny sends Dominic to check-out the pine barons and make sure Claudia remains where she's supposed to.  No-go on that front.  Dominic calls Ronnie to report that they may have a serial killer on their hands.  What that has to do with Claudia's missing body, I don't know .  Ronnie doesn't want Dom getting distracted by petty little things like serial killers, when he could be busting the greatest mass-murderer of all - - Sonny.

Kristina visits Sonny to spend some bonding-time decorating the tree.  Sonny tells her about the nuns, the Christmas Choir and getting whacked with hymnals as a boy .  All is well until Kristina pulls out an ornament from Claudia.  Kristina tells Sonny that he shouldn't have talked to Claudia the way he did and then asks if he killed her.  This aspect of the story has the potential to be interesting to me if the writers use it to focus on how Sonny's misogynistic behavior has caused his daughter to choose abusive romantic relationships for herself, but I have no faith that is where this is going.  Instead, I feel certain we will eventually get the "it's all Alexis' fault" blame-game . 

Ronnie catches Franco painting his tag CO77X in an alley - - the plot thickens, they know each other from the old days .  Much cryptic-conversing and threats ensue, with Ronnie doing his best My Cousin Vinny impression - - see Joe, I gotcha covered.   I knew this was going to happen , I knew Sonny was going to be innocent of Mr. Piletti's murder, and somehow a cop was going to be the bad guy.  

Maxie and Lulu are at the tree lot trying to find a tree that will meet Kate's specifications.  Maxie wants Spinelli to hurry up and "even the score" so they can get their non-marriage back on track, Lulu gives some great (if out of character) advice, which Maxie chooses to ignore .  Maxie turns the tables by urging Lulu to hurry up and get with Dominic before he gets himself killed.  Ahh, romance is in the air.  side note: Bradford Anderson has been really, really good throughout the Maxie-cheats storyline, very compelling and sympathetic.

Sonny asks Jax to use his influence to get the investigation into Claudia's disappearance closed.  Dude, if Jax had that kind of clout, he'd have used it to get your butt thrown in jail years ago.  They argue and posture some more about who's fault the whole Claudia debacle was, and who loves Michael more, blah, blah .

Lulu accompanies an unknown hit-and-run victim (it's totally Ronnie) to the hospital, as she was a witness to the crime.  That bodes well for Lulu - - how long has it been since she was last in mortal danger?   Oh right, October.

Franco bumps into Carly and Jocelyn at the tree lot

P.S.  Is it Tuesday yet?  Where's Chad?