Port Charles Chuckles

Daily Recap 7/30 & 7/31

I’m finally mostly recovered from my raucous weekend of carousing, and I am finally caught up on General Hospital as well.

It was a bit of a chore catching up on five episodes all at once. The repetitive nature of the show really sticks out when you string several episodes together. Oh well, it’s over, it’s done and I’m back to semi-daily movie-title recapping.

Speaking of "over", let’s use 2006's animated Over the Hedge for Wednesday and Thursday’s recap.

Robin and Anna are having breakfast at The Metro Court - Robin apologizes for going overboard with the fake-kidnaping-attempt. Robin just wanted to make sure Anna knows that "being a grandmother doesn’t change who you are. I just wanted to remind you that you’re my hero"  Awwwww I’m back to loving the Scorpio/Devane women.      

Diane is understandably horrified when she sees Max’s bruised face (courtesy of kickin'-granny Anna). Sonny takes great delight in forcing Max to admit that he got beat up by a girl. Diane urges Sonny to share his plans regarding Karpov with Jason, to no avail. Diane’s counsel goes right over Sonny’s head.

Carly and Jax are still at odds - - I’m still mainly fast-forwarding, but I gather she has now hand-cuffed herself to him, so he can’t escape. At this point, nothing Carly does (or Jax’s reaction to it) surprises me anymore. Carly’s over-the-top antics continue to stupify me.

Both Sam and Nadine have independent plans to infiltrate the counterfeit drug smuggling ring. Both Nikolas and Lucky are concerned for their safety. Nadine takes offense when Nikolas says he thinks of her "like a sister". Nadine complains because that means he thinks of her a child.  She then proceeds to throw a tantrum that did nothing to assuage the Prince of that viewpoint. It was cute though, Claire got an overdue chance to show her range a bit there, and also later when she’s attempting to manipulate Dr. Hunter into incriminating himself.

Lulu goes out for groceries and comes back with the makings for a chicken casserole that neither she nor Johnny know how to make. It’s a cute and banter-y scene, with Johnny complaining about breaking the ends off the green-beans ( just like a man) and Lulu cutting the carrots. Alas, the overkill carrot-cutting knife inspires painful memories of Logan’s death and Lulu is unable to continue. Seriously? What was the mild-mannered piano professor doing with a knife that huge in his kitchen? I’ve seen smaller blades meant for chopping wood!! Johnny ends up making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.

Ric and Sonny are meeting to discuss heaven-knows-what, when Claudia interrupts. Claudia is worried that Sonny and Ric may be forming an alliance that would hurt her family. Harm will only come to Johnny, over her dead body. Yeah . . . . I really don’t think either Sonny or Ric would have a problem with that outcome. Or Anthony . . . or Trevor . . . or most viewers.         

At the hospital, one of Eli Love’s groupies stops by with Eli’s secret love-child. Eli acts like a total prick and Anna gets to pound on him once again. Go Granny Devane!!! Patrick gives Eli a piece of his mind, ending with the fabulous line "You are exactly what women hate about men". Robin watches the exchange proudly, and Noah later expresses his paternal pride as well. I am over-the-moon that the ridiculous blog-war and repetitive argument stage of their relationship is finally done. Meanwhile, Dr. Hunter watches the action with more interest than he’s expressed in anything else, since he got to town. Matt is totally Noah’s son - is it too earlier to start calling him Logan 2.0?

Monica’s release from rehab is tainted by Jason’s announcement that he will no longer come by to see her at the mansion, and also by Scott’s overblown threats of jailing the entire Quartermaine family for aiding and abetting Lulu in her criminal activities. Alice chases Scott away by threatening to use the "spinning impaler" on him. Scott swears to return with a warrant. I want to go drinking with whomever comes up with the names for Alice’s wrestling moves (as long as they don’t break out the "reverse chicken-wing" on me) - - they sound like fun.

An argument about the proper way to make PB&J leads (quite naturally) to making out on the couch. The professor doesn’t have a kitchen, or apparently a bedroom either, it really must suck to live in NY. Lourdes interrupts impending-JoLu-couch-action by using her key to get in. Okay, at what point do you just give up on sex entirely? Or buy a dead-bolt? Trevor, Lucky, Tracy, Alice, Edward, am I missing anybody? Lourdes sends Johnny on an errand and proceeds to grill Lulu, causing her Spencer-spider-senses to tingle. Later, Lulu’s suspicions are confirmed when Lourdes tells Johnny that she saw him on the news - she knows he’s wanted for murder. Okay, how head over heels does she have to be not to tell her brother that the son of the man that murdered their father is teaching her chopsticks?

Lucky and Nikolas share brotherly bonding (yay!). They discuss their days as part of the 4 musketeers (yay!). Lucky is having trouble preventing his fear from over-shadowing his rational mind - he’s starting to have panic attacks worrying about Lulu and Sam. He doesn’t want to lose any more than he already has.

Daily Recap 7/25 - 7/29

Well, I am now officially caught up on my sleep after the long weekend in NY, and finally caught up on General Hospital as well.  Is it just me, or is this show getting worse by the minute?

My recent malaise when it comes to the show, as well as my inherent laziness, has caused me to combine the past three episodes into one recap.  Let's call the last few days in Port Charles, The Grudge.

Max and Diane are both worried that Sonny's interaction with Karpov is going to adversely affect Jason.  Sonny insists that he would never do anything to hurt Jason, his actions are intended to help Jason, in point of fact. Diane is doubtful, she fears that Sonny is holding a grudge because Jason sided with Carly on the issue of custody.  

Claudia asks Jason for help finding Johnny and bringing him home safely.  Jason gives her the same advice he gave to Carly - - "do nothing", don't cause more attention or trouble by getting involved.  I'm betting she's going to follow his advice as well as Carly did, which is to say, not at all.  Jason would have more luck advising reason to a brick wall. Claudia turns to Sonny for help next, but he's still carrying a grudge against John-boy for shooting him, and refuses to be blackmailed into helping the Zibling cause.

Scott's on the warpath with a major score to settle.  He questions Maxie, then Ric (both of whom speak to Logan's volatile behavior prior to his demise), before going on television to offer $100,000 reward for the capture of fugitives Lulu and Johnny.  Nikolas and Lucky ask Scott to rescind the reward as it only "brings out the crazies" and makes it more likely that Lulu will be killed.  Scott is unswayed by their plea, and Lucky accuses Baldwin of continuing his grudge against Luke by persecuting Lulu.

Johnny shares his fake-life-story with a smitten Lourdes.  Lulu freaks out when she recounts what happened with Logan the night she met Johnny hitch-hiking.  Later, Johnny attempts to assuage her guilt, but she tenses when she remembers Logan's final moments as Johnny kisses her.   Johnny teaches her to play the piano. 

Ric offers to get Johnny out of his legal trouble the same way he did for Daddy Z in exchange for Claudia's "friendship".  Claudia promises Ric anything he wants if he truly can free her baby brother.  Ric plans to use a bar-fight from Logan's past in Iraq as the basis for a self-defense plea.  That can't seriously be the incident Ric was using to black-mail Logan with? A bar-fight? I suspect there's more to Logan's checkered past than that, and I doubt I'll like it!  Jason shows up and Ric mouths off to him about Sonny's dirty dealings with Karpov.  Claudia blasts Ric for letting his grudge against Jason cloud his judgment and endanger Johnny's potential freedom.   

Lourdes sees the news bulletin about "Joe" and "Linda" and gets upset, but turns off the television before Sal can see it.  Lourdes goes back for another piano lesson and pumps Johnny for information.  When Sal comes to get her, she blurts out that the Zaccharas killed her father.  Sal tells the sad tale and it's clear that both he and his sister still hold a grudge.  Sal wants to wipe out all the Zaccharas for their evil.  I think I might know a few ladies over at BH who are now Sal's biggest fan.

Carly sneaks onto Jax's plane when he flies to New Orleans for a business trip.  I fast-forwarded, the pain was just too much.  I gather she attempts to reconcile, he refuses, she seduces him, they have sex (what is it about transit that gets Carly hot? I hate traveling.), then he parachutes out of the plane to escape her.  When Jax arrives in his hotel room after his meeting, Carly is waiting for him.  He eventually throws her out in favor of Giselle and Crimson business.  Yeah, that's going to add fuel to Carly's grudge against Kate.

Sonny tells Jason that the business is vulnerable while he's in lock-up.  Jason swears everything is fine, and wishes Sonny would stop back-seat-driving.  Jason asks Sonny once again if he wants the business back, but Sonny says he doesn't.  The boys argue, with Sonny accusing Jason of still holding a grudge about Michael's shooting.  PC's dynamic duo appear to be on the verge of parting ways permanent-like.

Robin, Patrick and Noah plot to convince Anna to attend Eli Love's concert and show the jerk what he's missing.  Anna is reluctant, still holding a grudge from being cast-aside for youth, but eventually agrees to go.  When two masked men (Max and Milo under Robin's direction) attempt to kidnap Eli, Anna comes to the rescue and kicks butt, proving her vitality.

Lucky and Sam continue to meet in secret.  Lucky is reluctant to allow Sam such a dangerous mission, but Sam is sure she can handle it.  Protective, concerned Lucky is so cute. Karpov hires Sam to captain his ship.  WTH?  In other news, Karpov meets with Jerry and wants his help with the counterfeit drug-smuggling.  Does Jerry really need another reason for Jason and Sonny to carry a grudge? Is he trying to get himself killed?   

Jason puts Spinelli on Karpov's cyber-trail in order to ascertain whether Ric's accusations were true.  The Jackal does find proof that Sonny met with an emissary of Karpov's, and Jason is hurt.  Claudia stops by to tell Jason that Ric was right, but Sonny doesn't intend to betray Jason with Karpov, he intends to protect Jason from him.  Jason is skeptical - - of both Sonny's motives and Claudia's.  Claudia mentions Spinelli's feverish ramblings from the quarantine days - - his prophecies are beginning to come true.  Sonny's self-destructive grudge will cause him to back Jason into a corner, and Jason will have to decide how to re-act.  I really don't have the words to articulate how little I care about the impending turf-war where Sonny and Jason will pretend to be enemies, only to band together and save the day in the end.

Daily Recap 7/24/08

I apologize for the tardiness of this recap, alas, apathy allowed me to fall three episodes behind in my General Hospital viewing.  Actually, for the first time in recent memory, it wasn't apathy.  In truth, I knew Scott Baldwin was going to return on today's episode, and my emotional state was such, that it was just too painful to contemplate watching.

Whether you love Logan or hate him, whether you care for Scott or not, no parent should ever have to bury a child.  The emotional ramifications of a story like this were bound to be great and all-encompassing. 

In retrospect, my fears were un-founded.  I should have known better than to expect more than a superficial glance at Scott's emotional trauma at losing his third child.  For "storyline purposes" Scott passed directly from unaware of Logan's death, to loud-mouthed blow-hard.  Thanks ever so much Guz.

Now, I'm in a pissy mood, and only emoticons will cheer me.  For those who still give a fig, Thursday in Port Charles went something like this - -

Lucky and Sam are all post-coital on her couch when Elizabeth knocks on the door.  Liz feels terrible about the LuSam (fake) break-up and tries to convince Sam to support Lucky during his time of worry about Lulu.  I really like that these two are being civil to each other, maybe even friendly.  See Guza - - not all women have to be portrayed as catty witches.   

Karpov tells Sonny he doesn't want any unnecessary trouble with The Zacchara Family, so Sonny should refrain from public displays of chivalry with regards to Claudia.  Sonny tells Karpov it's none of his beeswax. Karpov then asks for an intro to Jason, but Sonny remains firm that Jason and Karpov should not be involved in any way.

Carly visits Jason in jail, he tells her that Lulu killed Logan and urges her to remain calm and let him handle things.  Carly agrees, and then promptly turns to Spinelli for help getting Lulu out of trouble "the old-fashioned way - by framing someone else for the crime." Oh yeah, this will go great.    

Tracy and Nikolas have the unenviable task of informing a newly-returned Scott of Logan's demise.  Seriously - - they could only spare a 90-second scene for that?  Anyone else remember when death was meaningful? And cause for sorrow?

Lulu has nightmares remembering Logan's death, she wakes up screaming bloody murder.  Johnny covers her mouth so she doesn't wake the neighbors.  Careful there "Joe" , last time someone covered Lulu's mouth with his hand, she skewered him with a butcher knife, and the time before that she clocked him with a monkey-wrench.

Anthony attempts to apologize to Claudia in his own way.  In the way of him not really expressing regret or remorse in any way.  Daddy goes on to threaten her once again, if Johnny has a single hair out of place when he gets home.   

Lulu has recovered rather quickly from her nightmare and wants to go to the store for provisions.  JoLu are all banter-y and cutsie-pie.  Apparently, I was mistaken, Lulu isn't going to go crackers like her Mom, she takes after Uncle Sonny - - now she's bipolar .  Meanwhile, Sal brings his little sister by to take piano lessons from "Joe".  Oh yeah, this girl is trouble, I'm thinking Alicia Silverstone in The Crush.