In an effort to better understand the "hero" of my "favorite" daytime drama, I did a little research and discovered something quite disturbing. According to The National Institutes of Mental Health, bipolar disorder causes unusual (and severe) shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function.
Interesting, so clearly the writers of General Hospital have taken their hero-worship of Sonny Corinthos so far, that they are now actually suffering from the same mental health issue as their fictional creation. I hate to jump to conclusions, but that is the only conceivable explanation for the stories currently polluting the air waves in this particular corner of daytime television.
Let's be honest, I don't refer to all the writers, I refer to the head "writer", because in truth, occasionally the day to day dialogue is quite good - - it's the overall story direction and character choice that sucks toxic balls.
An example of this quality dialogue: whenever Diane or Alexis are on-screen I expect to be entertained and in a shocking turn of events, I actually am much of the time (Prego-month excepted of course). Just this week, Diane gave me a hearty chuckle when she suggested a "post-nup" for Carly and Jax, who are re-newing their wedding vows. In response to Carly's ludicrous assertion that she and Jax will be together "forever" and therefore, have no need of a post-nup, Diane responded "Just refresh my memory alright, how many divorces are we working on for the two of you combined ? I mean, we're hitting on double-digits now". Tee-hee, good one Di!
Speaking of double-digits, how many horribly conceived stories and contrived, blog-related arguments can one couple endure and still be the most believable and well-loved couple on the show? The answer appears to be: a lot, because in spite of the current horrendous story, I am still a mega-Scrubs-fan.
As Robin's "post-partum-depression" storyline heats up on General Hospital, I become more and more convinced that the person who is writing it (or devised it) is clinically insane, himself. Robin is so over-the-top and psychotically un-balanced that it is unbelievable, as is Patrick's denial about the situation.
Do you suppose that in his "research" into mental illness, Guza mistakenly typed DID instead of PPD? Did he even consult the DSM IV or what? OLTL fans will know that DID stands for dissociative identity disorder which is when a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities. On OLTL, Jess has alters "Tess" - the scheming harlot, and "Bess" - the methodical librarian. Apparently, on General Hospital, Robin now has "Nancy Green" - a single pharmaceutical rep from San Francisco, sent to Rochester on business. Patrick hasn't given his alter a name yet, but I'm going to helpfully suggest "Doofus" as a place to start, and ending with a river in Egypt (hint: rhymes with vile).
Now, I am by no means an expert in abnormal psychology (although I should be, with my family-tree) but I am pretty sure that symptoms of depression do not include getting all tarted up and going bar-hopping in Rochester. Doesn't depression usually manifest itself in the reluctance to move or to bathe (and in my case, also a pint or two of Chubby Hubby eaten straight from the carton)?
Has Guza truly never seen the television ads for Cymbalta, you know, the ones that air during his show? The people suffering from depression are all in their jammies, head-in-hands, sitting in the darkness, not out partying wearing full-makeup!!! Guza could not be writing Robin more poorly if he tried. Patrick too for that matter, no one is that clueless in their denial, especially not a doctor!
Speaking of multiple personalities, then there's Johnny and Maxie - - are they damaged and self-destructive or are they genuinely attracted to each other? You can't write it both ways - - either they feel undeserving of their current partners and are hooking-up to prevent future heartbreak when their lovers discover their unworthy-ness, OR they are kindred spirits who are genuinely hot for each other - - pick a direction and go with it, you can't ride two horses with one ass!! - - (but as viewers know all too well, you can completely destroy a soap opera with one ass).
And what is with Lulu all "I know you would never make-out with my boyfriend in the back of a limo" Um, how do you know that? Is it because of how Maxie didn't screw your last boyfriend out of spite? Or is it because of how principled and non-selfish Maxie usually is? Or maybe it's because of how the two of you have always been besties?
Since when doesn't Lucky care about his brother's feelings?
Since when does Nikolas help out with menial housekeeping tasks like diner-mopping?
Jason isn't actually wearing a wire on Sonny is he?
Practically the only character who isn't acting deranged right now is Sonny - - now that he and Jason are back together and the marriage to Claudia appears to be permanent, all of a sudden, Sonny is the most normal person on the canvas.
Oh . . .
I see . . .
Guza's dastardly plan has finally come to fruition, he's suceeded in making Sonny seem rational by comparison, and all it took was the complete destruction of five or six other characters in the process - - well worth it, good job Bob.
Pardon me while I 
I think I feel another General Hospital-related depression coming on, so naturally I'm going clubbing in my most shiny sequined shirt, don't wait up . . . .
