Port Charles Chuckles

Sliding Doors

So, what with the current state of General Hospital, (and my inebriation essential to watching the show recently ) it's been a little while since I've done one of my movie-themed episode recaps (think August).  However, Wednesday's pre-Thanksgiving episode inspired me to dust off the old imdb.com and recap once again.

Well, it's not so much recapping as it is commentary in list-form (I'm still a little too stuffed from all that turkey and exhausted from my TGIBF shopping to form complete sentences at the present time).    

As the episode begins, Patrick and Robin are cuddling up on the couch  discussing their respective rough days.  The way he calls her "baby" is muy caliente, BTW.  They get to talking about the first time they met (awww) and the conversation leads, quite naturally (if you happen to be two neurologists) to butterfly effect.  I think they mean chaos theory, but whatever, Robin falls asleep and dreams about how different her life might have been if she had met Patrick under different circumstances - - -

Robin returns from a trip to Paris with gifts for squealing girlfriends Epiphany, Kelly and Lainey.  In bizarro-world, Epiphany is not a battle-ax, and Kelly and Lainey are actually present - hooray for bizarro world!!

Patrick has just joined the staff and is in the shower with Leyla , when Robin first meets him.  Gotta appreciate the symmetry there - - but duck for flying objects from Scrubs fans, writers.

Patrick and Robin have an argumentative, adversarial professional relationship in this time-line too.  Jason Thompson and Kimberly McCullough still have great chemistry, loving or fighting.     

Patrick ends up at Jake's drowning his frustrations, and meets "Coleman, it's just Coleman".  Am I the only one who ever wondered if that was his first or last name?  Ah, well, the mystery remains. 

Patrick relates that he likes Port Charles so far, although he was awoken last night by "a car back-firing or coulda been gunfire, not quite sure yet."  Hee-hee, awesome writer snuck in a few zingers this episode.

Coleman assures Patrick that Jake's is a safe, quality establishment.  And as for women, "Dude, are you kidding? This place gets more tail than Tom Jones".  It's comforting to know that Coleman is a sleeze in any time-line.     

Robin, Kelly and Lainey head to Jake's, where Patrick hits on Carly to get under Robin's skin.  It's comforting to know that Carly is a whore in any time-line.

Holy Cow!!! Chief of Staff Alan Quartermaine is showing the new-guy, Matt Hunter, around the hospital.  (Nary a track-suit in sight, I love the world in Robin's head).

Matt and Maxie meet-cute at the hospital "actually, did we go to school together or something?".  He didn't go to school around here (tee-hee, must have been Salem High).

Carly dumps Patrick (I keep saying, she's off her rocker!!) and he re-bounds with Elizabeth, while Robin dates Matt.  I have no problem with the partner-swapping this episode, it gave the actors a chance to play against other actors that they aren't normally paired with, and display different sides of their characters - - everyone did a really great job.

Matt hooks up with Maxie, jilting Robin and Elizabeth dumps Patrick, leading to a Scrubs pity-party at Jake's.  Patrick asks Robin to dance as "Ontop of Cloud Nine" plays on the jukebox - - clearly, they were meant to be together in any time-line.    

The episode culminates with a marriage proposal in the real world - - Scrubs Wedding Part Deux, to be taking place sometime after Christmas.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mob-war , already in progress . . . .

Hold On To Your Hats

Prepare yourselves ladies and gentlemen, the December 15th issue of ABC Soaps in Depth reports "... we hear there's another shocking death ahead on the soap (GH) later this month!".

I have several objections to that offensive sentence fragment: 

    First of all, the use of the adjective "shocking".  Shocking to whom, exactly?  Come on Soaps in Depth, get out your dictionary - - if you feel anything resembling "intense surprise" at the news that someone is going to die on General Hospital, then you have not been watching the same show that I have for the past fifteen years. 

    Secondly, I hate to play punctuation-police (especially, given that I've never met a comma I didn't like), but that was blatant misuse of an exclamation point ! ! !

Seriously, were the editors all riding out a Turkey-hangover, or what?  Was the issue running short and they needed to fill space?  On what planet does Bob "bloodbath" Guza killing off another character, qualify as newsworthy?

That's right folks, you heard it here first - - - and in other totally original, un-predictable, and ground-breaking news, the sun will be rising in the East tomorrow morning.

Gee, What to Blog About on "Turkey" Day . . . .

. . . . nope, that's just too easy.

I could go traditional for the holiday and roast everyone's favorite head turkey, er head writer, once again.  Or, perhaps I could compose a list of storylines that were the worst turkeys in recent memory? 

Instead, in honor of Thanksgiving, I'm going to go totally out-of-character and come up with something positive to say about Mob-wars R' Us, um, I mean General Hospital.  This might take a minute, talk amongst yourselves. . .

Okay, harkening back to David Letterman once again, I give you:

The Top Ten General Hospital-Related Blessings that I am Thankful for This Year:

10.) Every single time Lucky Spencer held Cameron or Jake

9.)  The unexpected development of friendships between Lulu & Maxie and Sam & Elizabeth

8.)  The often clever and quick-witted repartee between Diane and Alexis

7.)  Brandon Barash's awesome smile (not that Johnny has much occasion to smile, you understand, but it was a rare and welcome treat when he did)

6.)  The unorthodox pairing of Spinelli and Maxie (who knew I was going to enjoy them? some of the time, anyway)

5.)  The long-anticipated un-shackling of my favorite Aussie from the travesty that is Carly

4.)  The return of the "real" Robert Scorpio (I know that happened on Night Shift, but give me a break here - - I can't be expected to think of ten General Hospital highlights, I think I did pretty well with nine)

3.)  The Scrubs Wedding (if any couple deserved to have it done right, it was them)

2.)  The sadly abbreviated display of Logan Hayes' brutal hotness

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1.)  The welcome return of Genie Francis (it reminds me that I'm not a total dullard for still having hope in the genre)

Happy Thanksgiving to all, may you spend your day with good food, family and friends!