I use the term "musical" loosely.
As threatened in my recent column A Game of Chance, I have composed a little ditty I'm calling Guza's Anthem. I have no musical background or training of any kind, which will become immediately apparent as you read.
I did however, once sing Karaoke at a bar to Hit Me with Your Best Shot by Pat Benetar. I'm told it was memorable mainly for my hand gestures (I do a mean Muhammad Ali impression) and the fact that I tripped over the power cord on my way off the stage.
I don't remember this of course, because, had I been the slightest bit sober, I wouldn't have been up there in the first place (ah, college...good times).
The tune is Jingle Bells
Guza's Anthem
Kill the Quartermaines,
Who cares for history?
Georgie died in vain,
Strangle Emily.
Cooper got the boot,
Diego's not quite dead,
Oh what fun it is to shoot
Children in the head, O!
*
*
Blame the scabs, blame the scabs
Blame them all the way!
Oh what fun it is to avoid
Re-spon-si-bi-l-i-ty - Hey!
*
*
Hit men rule,
Guns are cool,
Frons, he is a fool
Shoot someone
Blow shit up
Mikey's got a gun O
Let's rape Jax,
Ho-tel porn,
Standards sure are lax.
*
*
Blame the scabs, blame the scabs
Blame them all the way!
Oh what fun it is to avoid
Re-spon-si-bi-l-i-ty - Hey!
*
*
I'm watching all this crap
Guza is a hack
I'd rather shop at Gap
I want my hour back!!
Fans are all so mad,
Ratings in the tank,
This show is just so bad,
Who is there to thank?
*
*
Blame the scabs, blame the scabs
Blame them all the way!
Oh what fun it is to avoid
Re-spon-si-bi-l-i-ty - Hey!
*
*
Violence is neat,
Mental illness is a gas,
Girls fall at Sonny’s feet,
I think I’ll take a pass.
Laura was a bore?!?
Logan’s MIA
Guza I abhore,
What else can I say?
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