At Least I Have the Good Sense to Rip-Off Something Decent

I feel like it would be unimaginative to write yet another rant about Michael’s shooting. I also feel that, at my current average of five rants per week, I will have written approximately three thousand rants, by the time this flippin’ storyline is actually over.

That seems a tiny bit excessive, even for me.

I’ve been advised (by my therapist, on numerous occasions) to let go of things over which I have no control. It’s lucky for her I can’t seem to do that, or her kids would be attending community college right now, instead of whatever Ivy League institution I’m paying for (but I digress).

So, for this rant, I have decided to obey the letter of her law, but blatantly ignore it’s spirit. I am not going to complain about the insanely long time TPTB are dragging out Michael’s goodbye. Nor will I complain that the same six characters have been having the same eff-ing conversation every day for the last six weeks now. And, I’m not even going to complain about how none of the characters involved in this storyline are actually changing their behavior in any significant way in spite of all the supposed culpability they feel for this tragedy.

No, instead, I am going to put on my "happy-hat", focus on the positives, and comment on how pleasant the Sonny and Carly scenes were today - for the first two minutes, when they were screwing like adulterous bunnies and therefore, neither of them were actually speaking.

Watching today’s CarSon sex got me thinking about other things (in addition to my ranting and their dirty sex) that have already been done three thousand times before. This brings me to the never-ending guilt-a-thon of Carly, Jason and Sonny.

As much as I didn’t care to see the Sonny/Carly limo-romp, it did provide viewers a welcome relief from their incessant whining. Alas, it was only a two-minute break and then we were right back to the "whoa are we".

Veering slightly off-topic for a moment, even more unforgivable than the inappropriate timing and overall ickiness of said limo-sex, was the fact that somehow, throughout the course of the subsequent conversation - - Sonny came out looking like the injured party! What...The...Flip...? Dagnabit that’s hard to do, but leave it to Carly to cause me to feel sympathy for Sonny! This offense should not go unpunished, but alas we’re back in "things I can’t control" territory.

Back on topic - judging by the previews, it looks as though this Michael after-math muck will be continuing indefinitely. Therefore, to vent my displeasure, I have composed my very own top ten list ala David Letterman.

This may not be terribly original, but, I realize something that the writers of General Hospital clearly do not - - if you’re going to blatantly rip something off - - the "rip"ped item should be something worth "rip"ping in the first place!!

For example, do they not realize that the conversation doesn’t improve the tenth time the characters have it? Did they forget that Carly/Sonny post-traumatic sex has been done before (and badly)?

Newsflash: Sonny, Carly, and Jason realizing that their children are in danger because of decisions they have made as the adults, for the three-thousandth time and feeling bad about it, loses it’s impact after instance two-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine and also after nothing changes, ever.

The writers really must find better source material to plagiarize, they’re just recycling old scripts here.

So, in honor of ideas that other people had first and did much better in the first place, I give you:

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The Top Ten Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Sonny/Carly/Jason Have Another Meaningless Conversation About How Guilty They All Feel

10.) Re-live adolescence - social awkwardness, braces, acne and all!

9.) See the new Dane Cook movie

8.) Help my boyfriend’s mom pick out lingerie at Frederick’s of Hollywood

7.) Discuss politics with my grandfather

6.) Go to a Hannah Montana concert with my niece and six of her friends

5.) Start watching All My Children

4.) Have an appendectomy without anesthesia (on a remote island teeming with gun-toting whack-jobs)

3.) Crawl naked, dipped in honey, across broken glass sprinkled over a fire-ant nest

2.) Invite Hannibal Lecter to dinner (and let him cook)

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1.) Be shot in the head myself!

Comments

[Lindsey]

You are too funny! I love reading this blog everyday! It is quickly becoming a MUST read for me!

I really enjoy that you always throw in a personal touch to your commentary....... "like my therapist says you must let go of the things you cannot control."

Also very much enjoyed the top 10 things you would rather do...... #7 hits close to home for me..... that would be a painful discussion..... not sure, I might rather watch Sonny and Carly.....eh..... nevermind, I will take Grandpa instead!